I was in the most unromantic of places
surrounded by apples and pears
when a voice I’d never heard before
spoke my name.

I used to worry I’d see you everywhere,
my heart leaping at any reference
your silver truck, a man with your hair
a laugh or scent like yours.

And when I turned
I saw her face
and pretended
not to know it.

She didn’t know I’d seen her face
had gone looking for it
just to see what she had, who it was
that you had chosen over me.

and the strangest of things
she asked me
if I’d considered
making up with you.

she doesn’t know

she told me
that you make jokes sometimes
that she doesn’t understand
and when she told one
I laughed
without meaning to
and she knew it was one of mine.

she said
will you ever be friends again
and it physically hurt
but I didn’t hesitate
to say no.

she doesn’t know
what it would do,
how much it would cost
you, me, her
how it would eat us all alive.

I escaped
without any promises
and I don’t think she understood
but tell her for me, darling

the night in my bed
lit candles and tangled sheets
and the morning after
when you got on one knee
in front of the woman