pieces of goodbye

there are people you’ll meet
your soul mates, if you like
that burrow into your heart
make a home for themselves in your chest

and when you left
it was like ripping the tag from a shirt
leaving a hole in my heart
that’s just your size

I remember your words
had already cut your ties to me
and you’d already emotionally left
but you still stood there in my room

I don’t know what you wanted me to say
but nothing came to mind
and I couldn’t look at you
so I finally released you, told you to go

when the front door closed I didn’t move
no tears, no thoughts
just sat on my bed staring at the carpet
my hands resting against my belly

I had planned to tell you, darling
when you showed up at my house
an early arrival from the perpetually late
but before I could speak, you left me

and now when I think of it
I think it’s better you never knew
because I had to get through it by myself
and now I am unstoppable

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steady, steady

hold, hold the air, my lungs
contain it just one more breath
calm, calm yourself, my stomach
soothe the butterflies a little longer

this is my memory of the moment
your eyes shifted to my mouth
and I knew all at once
that you were about to lean in

steady, steady there, my hands
be sure just a moment more
slow, slow it down, my heart
don’t race away on me now

my cheeks were burning
because you knew I knew
and when your lips touched mine
I could feel you smiling