ten-second chaos

there’s this way
to deal with the chaos.
it’s the ten-second rule.

whenever devastation hits
whenever my world starts to crumble
I allow myself ten full seconds
in which to fall apart.

ten seconds of
panic, pain, drama.
when I reach ten, I’m done.
that’s all the self-pity I’m allowed.

(one)
life as I know it
(two)
has turned to ashes and smoke.

(three)
there’s a band of ice
(four)
constricting my chest.

(five)
my face is soaked
(six)
in mascara and devastation.

(seven)
love cannot be real,
(eight)
for why would anyone choose this?

(nine)
my heart is splintering
like the shards of cruelty that caused this.
(ten)

ten. ten. ten.

I made it to ten
and I am still here.
ten.
I can feel my lungs moving,
so I must still be breathing.
ten.
when I wipe my face,
I can still see my eyes.
ten.
though it feels worse for wear,
my heart is still beating.

I made it to ten,
so I have not
been beaten yet.

always make it to ten.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. dragonbolt54 · November 24, 2015

    Beautiful way to put into words how we feel when we want to fall apart. 10 seconds of helplessness followed by the realization that maybe the end isn’t here yet!

    Like

  2. Miriam · November 23, 2015

    Yes, always make it to ten!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s