the call

you always pretended things mattered
less than they really did.
we hadn’t spoken in a year, almost to the day
when you called again.
I didn’t answer.

your message said
it’s been awhile,
I was wondering how you were.

your message didn’t say
I’m sorry, I miss you,
I wish we were still friends at least
I wish that I had loved you enough
I wish I could have found a way.

you said
I heard a song on the radio that put you in my head
and I wanted to share that moment.

you didn’t say
I’m sorry I stood in the doorway
and watched your heart break
and did nothing to heal the pain.
I’m sorry I walked out of the house
and left you sitting on your bed for hours
waiting for me to come back.

you said
I don’t know why everything reminds me of you,
I don’t know why you’ve been on my mind.

you didn’t say
I’m sorry I kissed you that night
and was engaged the following morning.
I’m sorry I never mentioned her
when I knew your heart was still mine.

I heard
a laugh, an inside joke,
an unspoken wink.

I didn’t hear
love, wishes, atonement, regret,
any attempt to change.

how self-serving, I thought.
a message about you
reminding me that you still exist
and that I loved you
and that you are still not mine.

I pressed delete.


One comment

  1. tossedgames · November 22, 2015

    this is quite true, not many people realize what he/she are sending is wrong


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